My Child Struggles to Focus - How Can I Help?

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. - Proverbs 22:6

Growing up, I was a wild child. When I share that story, people often laugh. They often look at me in disbelief, and I tell them to ask my mom. She will be glad to verify how difficult I was to raise.

I might have been hard-headed and full of energy, but I was never a bad kid. I needed a challenge. I constantly had creative juices flowing through my head and needed help figuring out what to do with all the things circling around in my mind 24/7. Fortunately, I had wonderful parents who placed positive reinforcements in my life to help mold me into the person I am today. I would like to take the time to share some of those positive reinforcers.

First of all, in today's world, it is impossibly difficult to focus. I was thinking the other day how tied I am to my phone. I delete my social media apps while at work, because I find myself constantly checking for updates and that is not being a good steward of the time God has given me while at work. If your child struggles to focus, show a little grace. Even adults in this day and age find it hard to focus in this crazy world.

Why should we show grace? Because Jesus did when we went to the cross to pay for our sins (Eph. 2:4-10). We all like to say, "When I was a child I would have never ____," but you were not a child growing up in the technology age children live in today. Let me clarify that showing grace does not justify giving in to the problem at hand, though.

As a parent, how do you begin the arduous task of helping your child focus? Think of a positive outlet. For me, it was taking piano lessons. My twin brother, pictured next to me in the photo, also played the piano but quit after one year. He can still play a mean Edelweiss. I stayed with piano and since the age of eleven, I have played for church. Playing the piano forces me to sit still and focus. At the beginning, that period of time was short but now I can play the piano for hours which also helped me become an avid reader.

Reading is another way to build stamina. When I taught students, I remember taking my own chapter book to school and reading for 15-20 minutes while my students read their books. I modeled for them how to read in a quiet, calm environment. Make reading a family affair and read at night before your children go to bed. I will never forget watching my husband read a children's Bible and Zig Ziglar books to my elementary aged boys.

Enhancing my skills in music and reading helped me land a job as an educator, where I stayed for twenty years. I still use some of the organizational skills I learned while teaching music today in my own business and daily tasks.

Another strategy is to think of what your child will become in the future. If steered in the right direction, I have seen many children who struggled with attention issues grow up to become amazing entrepreneurs and business leaders. The moments spent with your child now are a blip in time compared to adulthood.

Also, I want to encourage you to stop introducing your child with negative labels. Here is an example. "Hi. This is Johnny. He has ADHD." Instead, reframe your way of thinking and say, "Hello. This is my son, Johnny, and he's going to be a great leader."

I have spoken to many adults who never saw themselves as a leader. I cannot tell you how many women I have coached on this topic. They are quick to share with me areas where they fall short, but they simply cannot see the beautiful attributes God has instilled in them.

As I read through the Book of Exodus, I have spent a lot of time thinking about Moses. God gave Moses this wonderful task of leading His people, the Israelites, out of the land of Egypt and into the Promised Land. Instead of jumping at the opportunity to do something great so others could see the mighty hand of God, one excuse after another spewed from Moses' mouth: "I am not eloquent; I am slow of speech and tongue" (Ex. 4:10).

God listened to Moses for maybe a hot minute, and He showed mercy by allowing his brother Aaron to take hold of the reins at times to help Moses gain confidence, but He did not let Moses off the hook completely. God said, "I will be with your mouth and with his mouth, and I will teach you what you shall do" (Ex. 4:15). So, I guess my question to you is are the labels you place on your child hindering God from completing His good and perfect work in their life? Ouch. Maybe we can all grow in the process of helping our children become what Christ created them to be.

One of the best ways to help your child with focus or any other problems they may face in life is to pray for your child morning, day, and night. Pray for God to reveal your child's gifts and talents to you. Ask God to help you hone those skills and train your child to bear good fruits for the kingdom of God. One thing I always remind my ladies in Sunday School is that our fruits, good works, should point people to Christ, not turn them away from Christ. I believe that same statement holds true for our children.

Our number one goal as a parent should be to see our children become saved. Secondly, we should desire to see them use their life and all God has given them to lead others to Christ. I would love to know if any of these suggestions helped your child. Feel free to email me at whitneysparks4110@gmail.com.

If you struggle with finding your true identity in Christ, I wrote a Bible study called Artist of My Soul. Feel free to check it out!

I talk about bearing good fruits in my devotional book, Dwell with Me: Growing in Your Spiritual Walk with Jesus."