Finding Strength in Forgiveness

I just finished reading Lysa TerKeurst's book Forgiving What You Can't Forget. If you've never read it, I highly recommend it. She is open and honest about the struggles in her marriage that led to her inability to forgive. (But as we all know, Satan is the real reason we find it hard to forgive.)

Have you heard the old cliche, "Forgive and forget?" I cringe every time I hear someone say it aloud. Forgiveness is a process that takes time; sometimes a lot of time. Forgetting means telling my brain to erase a file completely. With my finite mind, I'm not sure I have that capability.

Instead, my brain loves to hold onto hurtful situations. I still remember dating a guy in high school and watching him drool while ogling a girl at the Sonic Drive-In. I remember once being asked by an instructional coach to present how I collected student data to my team, only to be spoken about in a hurtful way after the meeting by my peers. Even today, I feel hurt when I encounter people every week who rarely ask if I'm okay with all the changes that have taken place in my life.

Besides the inability to let things go, I work hard to keep my feelings bottled up. I fear that I will hurt someone else in the process by telling the world how I feel. Oh, it's okay if I have negative self-talk and tear myself down in the process, as long as nobody else gets hurt.s. Then, at some point, once I've had enough and can't take it anymore, I began spewing hurts I've held inside since 1965. Okay, maybe not that long, but you get the point!

Can you relate?

Jesus could. He knew hurt in its truest form.

In John 7, we find Him walking by way of Galilee but refusing to go through Judea. John 7:1 says, "He did not want to walk in Judea, because the Jews sought to kill Him." Remember, Jesus always knew His purpose here on earth. Knowing His time had not yet come, He worked to keep a low profile until His death on the cross.

His brothers said in a rather mocking tone, "Depart from here and go into Judea, that Your disciples also may see the works that You are doing, for no one does anything in secret while he himself seeks to be known openly. If You do these things, show Yourself to the world” (John 7:3-4). His brothers were prepared to feed Him to the Jews by way of a death sentence. How could anybody be so cruel, especially family?

John 7:5 answers that question: " For even His brothers did not believe in Him."

Can you imagine the hurt Jesus felt? This is His family! These men should have been walking alongside Him in ministry, praying for Him, and offering their support. His ministry was hard. None of us will ever know what it was like for Jesus to leave His kingdom in Heaven, along with His Father, and "be made a little lower than the angels" so that we might have "everlasting life" (Ps. 8:5; John 3:16).

How did Jesus respond? Did He put a curse on them? He could. Did He devise a plan to destroy their lives? He was capable of such a plan. Did He slam the door in their faces or try to punch their lights out? No, because that's not Jesus. Unlike us, He thought before He spoke. And knowing our Savior, I feel confident He also prayed to our Father before responding to the hurtful words of man.

Instead, He went to the cross and cried out, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34). I believe Jesus had His brothers in mind when He asked His Father for forgiveness. Guess what? He didn't just come to die for His brothers. He came for you and me as well. So, this request applies to our lives, too.

But wait...there's more!

Jesus's brothers did put their faith and trust in their earthly brother according to Acts 1. They accepted His forgiveness for their sins. It took them observing His death, burial, and resurrection before they believed.

“Then they returned to Jerusalem from the mount called Olivet, which is near Jerusalem, a Sabbath day’s journey. And when they had entered, they went up into the upper room where they were staying: Peter, James, John, and Andrew; Philip and Thomas; Bartholomew and Matthew; James the son of Alphaeus and Simon the Zealot; and Judas the son of James. These all continued with one accord in prayer and supplication, with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with His brothers" (Acts 1:12-14).

So, what about you? Can you look past the hurt to help someone grow in their spiritual walk or lead them to Christ altogether if they are unsaved? Remember, the true enemy in every situation is Satan, the father of all lies (John 8:44). The person who has wronged you was made in the image of Christ, just like you. If it is difficult for you to look them in the face for the wrongs they've committed against you, I challenge you to see them the way Jesus sees them.

Regardless of the sins committed, Jesus died for our enemies just like He did for me and you. Every human on this planet receives the same opportunity to accept His free gift of salvation, believe in Him, and confess the sins of their past and future (Romans 10:9). Then, we will live with Him in an eternal paradise called Heaven where we will never know hurt again (Luke 23:43).

If I can pray for you to find strength and forgiveness, please contact me. ~ Whit